In this last section, you will practice using the editing strategy on an essay about Hawaii. There are two ways to do this exercise: (1) You can click on the link to open a graphic organizer that you can download and print to do this exercise by hand using highlighting markers, or (2) you can complete this exercise on-screen by following the instructions below. Graphic Organizer Instructions

An image of text that reads “When hunting companions forget or ignore safety rules” It tells the reader that, “the addition of a comma would improve this sentence drastically.”

Source: HI 2007, Tigerdude, Wikimedia

take notes iconTo help you synthesize and apply your new editing strategy, read the passage below and
use the step by step approach to find the errors. Copy and paste the paragraphs into your notes to do your revision. There are errors in subject-verb agreement, punctuation, spelling, and capitalization. Highlight all subjects and verbs in yellow, all suspected errors in spelling in pink, all capital letters in blue, and all punctuation marks in green. When you’re finished highlighting, check your understanding to see a possible response, but keep your notes open.

The Aloha State

More than any other state, Hawaii is famus for it’s beauty and pleaseing climate. This is probably why the “Aloha State!” is one of the most popular tourist atractions. In the world and why I would love to visit this State someday. Besides being a great place for tourists, though.

Hawaii is also a great place to live and has over one million residents.
Hawaii is made up entirelly of Islands and is located in the mid-Pacific Ocean. The closest of it’s islands to the U.S. Mainland is about 2,091 miles southwest of San Francisco. Hawaii is the youngest of the 50 states, it joined the union in 1959.


Check Your Understanding

Sample Response:

The Aloha State

More than any other state, Hawaii is famus for it’s beauty and pleaseing climate. This is probably why the “Aloha State!” is one of the most popular tourist atractions. In the world and why I would love to visit this State someday. Besides being a great place for tourists, though.

Hawaii is also a great place to live and has over one million residents.
Hawaii is made up entirelly of Islands and is located in the mid-Pacific Ocean. The closest of it’s islands to the U.S. Mainland is about 2,091 miles southwest of San Francisco. Hawaii is the youngest of the 50 states, it joined the union in 1959.


take notes iconThink through what you highlighted, one color and one issue at a time. Correct each issue
as you go, still using the text in your notes. When you’re finished revising, check your understanding to see a possible response.
A photo of several young women all dressed in decorated t-shirts and pinkish/purple floral skirts as they sit in a grassy area and play drums shaped liked hourglasses

O'ahu - Honolulu - Waikīkī: Royal Hawaiian Hotel – Drummers, wallyg, Flickr


Check Your Understanding

Sample Response:

The Aloha State

More than any other state, Hawaii is famous for its beauty and pleasant climate. This is probably why the “Aloha State,” is one of the most popular tourist attractions in the world and why I would love to visit this state someday. Besides being a great place for tourists, though, Hawaii is also a great place to live and has over one million residents.

Hawaii is made up entirely of islands and is located in the mid-Pacific Ocean. The closest of its islands to the U.S. mainland is about 2,091 miles southwest of San Francisco. Hawaii is the youngest of the 50 states; it joined the Union in 1959.