Refining Your Thesis Statement

Now look at some ways to refine your thesis. Keep your research question, working thesis, and qualities of a strong thesis in mind as you rewrite your statement. Follow these steps:

1. Compare your working thesis to your research.

Does most of your research support your working thesis? If not, what does the research support? Revise your thesis to reflect the research. Let’s look at the following thesis: “Consuming pasture-raised beef is better for the environment and is as economical as conventionally raised beef.” If your research indicates that although pasture-raised beef is better for the environment, it is much more expensive for the consumer, you will need to revise your thesis to reflect this.

The following might be a more accurate thesis statement:

2. Make your thesis more specific.

To make your thesis specific, use a simple formula that I call a three-point thesis. A three-point thesis makes three distinct points about the topic. You can use these three points as a blueprint for your body paragraphs. You might have two or three paragraphs that correspond to each point.

Let’s look at the thesis from the previous example: “Although consuming pasture-raised beef is more expensive than consuming conventionally-raised beef, the benefits to the environment are too numerous to be ignored.” What if we want to make “too numerous to be ignored“ more specific? Use the three-point formula.

These are three specific points that will be explained in the body paragraphs. When you use this formula to write your thesis, pay attention to the order in which you write your points. Your paragraphs will correspond to this order. You can order your points

• chronologically so that your points are like events and are discussed in the order in which they happened, or
  
• from least important to most important so that you begin with the least compelling evidence and conclude with the most compelling evidence.

In the example above, the most compelling evidence is the reduction of carbon emissions. For maximum impact, put it last.

Remember that a strong thesis needs to take a stand. One way to ensure that this happens is to use a formula called “topic + focus + opinion.” Your topic would be the general category that you are writing about. Your focus is the narrow topic you selected through your research when you created your research question. Your opinion is your conclusion about the topic based on your research. Let’s look at a sample thesis.

Thesis placement in the introduction

You might be wondering where your thesis statement should appear in your paper. For most papers you write, your thesis should appear as the last sentence of your introduction. There are some good reasons for placing it in the introduction:

• Your audience is aware of your argument immediately.
  
• Your audience will know how you are going to present your evidence: chronologically, from strongest to weakest point, or from weakest to strongest.

You might notice that some longer magazine stories don’t have thesis statements or that those thesis statements don’t appear in the introductory paragraph. Experienced writers may use a different formula for their writing and still manage to write an interesting story with a strong central argument. In general, though, the best place for your thesis is at the end of your introduction.

In the next section, we will discuss characteristics of a strong introduction.