Over the years years, men came up with thousands of excuses for not doing housework housework—warswars, religionreligion, pyramids pyramids, the United States Senate Senate—until finally they hit on the ultimate excuse: business“business. .” Theyd They’d get up, eat breakfast and announce, W “Well, I'm off to my office or factory now. .” Then theyd they’d just leave leave, and they wouldnt wouldn’t return until the house was cleaned, and dinner was ready.

But then men made a stupid mistake. They started to believe that business was really hard work work, and they started talking about it when they came home. Theyd They’d come in the door looking exhausted exhausted, and theyd they’d say things like, B “Boy, I sure had a tough meeting today. .”

You can imagine how a woman who had spent the day doing housework would react to this kind of statement. Shed She’d say to herself: M “Meeting? He had a tough meeting? I’ve been on my hands and knees all day, and he tells me he had a tough meeting? ?”

That was the beginning of the end. Women began to look into b “business, ,” and they discovered that all you do is go to an office and answer the phone and do various things with pieces of paper and have meetings. So women began going to work work, and now nobody does housework other —other than smearing and shining shining—and before long theres there’s going to be so much crud and bacteria under the nations nation’s refrigerators that were we’re all going to get diseases and die. . . .

But there is a solution; there is a way to get people to willingly do housework. I discovered this by watching household-cleanser commercials on television. What I discovered is that many people who seem otherwise normal will do virtually any idiot thing—if they think they will be featured in a commercial. They figure if they get on a commercial, theyll they’ll make a lot of money, like the Cheerful Housewife, and theyll they’ll be able to buy cleaner houses. So theyll they’ll do anything.